I'll Take My Dwarf Medium Rare - To Go Please

 

It’s been a while so hello and apologies to both of my readers.

This is a tale of toy soldiers, jigsaw puzzles, state sponsored murder, early Games Workshop marketing and my teeny, tiny pre-slotta, Perry Dwarf obsession.

In 1984 something new happened – to Citadel Miniatures at least.

The blister pack.

In years to come this miracle of packaging would come to create several new religions. Those who worshipped the card, those who believed that keeping stuff imprisoned inside the blister somehow increased the value of something above something that wasn’t inside a blister, and of course – the YouTube Evangelist that films himself opening the blister.

But in 1984, it was better. The blister card had a “counter” printed on the back which you could cut out and collect. It was basically a small jigsaw puzzle – if you completed a picture of a whole model you could send off to Citadel in Eastwood and get the corresponding miniature for the cost of an S.A.E.

The 1984 Citadel Compendium Advert - Courtesy and with permission of Stuff of Legends

For international readers – an S.A.E. is a “Self-Addressed Envelope” which would need to be stamped. In 1984 the cost of a large letter was 17 and a half pence – wow. You could get 35 flying saucers or nearly four packs of KP Outer Spacers for that.

As a self-confessed Dwarf fanatic I have always wanted as many of the Citadel ones as possible. Being given the “Heroes for Wargames” book as a kid by my dad meant I wanted to one day find the pre-slotta dwarfs therein. Most of which I have. The ones I like at least.

 There are many dwarfs that are rare but that I consider not worth the asking price (see Chardz, Ozrim). But the counter collect dwarf – well, Ozrim Chardz you could at least get from mail order, the counter collect dwarf was (supposedly) never available apart from counter collect.

I asked the Oldhammer Community for painted examples. And it seemed like two people in the world had one. One was a chap in Spain, the other was our very own Orclord.

The example from Stuff of Legends - used with permission

Just two in the world?

That sounds like the rarest dwarf out there…

 

Fast Forward to April, 2020.

The British Government, knowingly releases people from hospitals rife with Covid into UK care homes. Including the one in which my Grandmother lived.

Survived the Blitz, World War 2, the 60s, the Cold War – but she didn’t stand a chance faced with  the indifference of an administration whose main concern is supporting corruption while sat on the decking of No. 10 drinking tax-payer funded £200 bottles of wine.

As a kid, my Nan and Grandad always bought us great presents. Splurging money on Star Wars ships and Subbuteo sets. We were exceptionally lucky kids with our parents and grandparents.

My hobby Brain suggested that getting the counter collect dwarf on Ebay would be “what they would have wanted” – for me to have as Christmas present from them last year.

So I bought one.

Yeah I paid a person I usually consider a “scalper”, but there was just no other way to get one. To be fair he sent it fully insured with a personal, hand-written letter of thanks. To which I politely replied the purchase was a one off (from him).

I won’t discuss the painting too much.

It’s a hard mini to tackle.

There’s a lot of superfluous detail from buckles all over his tunic, to a very detailed helmet and a very big Yosemite Sam beard.

I gave it a shot.

Probably not my best. But a shot nonetheless.

Merry Christmas Nan. Merry Christmas Grandad (thanks for the whole Royal Marine Commando stuff).

I’ll see you soon.