NEWS FROM HELL BEFORE BREAKFAST: Lockdown Teeny Tiny Oldhammer

Big apologies to both of my readers for again being quiet for a while. A fair amount of time has been spent on trying to get Mrs Street repatriated which has been a pain in the proverbial.

While finishing off a couple of Warmaster units I thought it might be fun have a little solo game. My table at home is not particularly large, being only 4 feet by about 30 inches. It’s just not big enough to be wheeling Warhammer units around, but a small game of Oldhammer Warmaster is more than possible. I know what you’re thinking; Warmaster is surely “Middlehammer”. But that is forgetting the first rule of Oldhammer. That is that anything Street touches is Oldhammer by default. Yesterday I drank a pint of Old Rosie. By association it automatically became “Oldhammer Rosie”. It’s like the Midas touch but without having any actual practical use.

In addition, the command and control mechanic of Warmaster means that it lends itself to solo play a little better than point and click fantasy rulesets. So I set up the table to get a game going.

I feel that here I must insert a Newoldhammer™ caveat. When I first started doing the odd blog I expected that it would only ever be read by fat blokes in their forties and fifties.

Now I’m inclusive as the next man (unless that man is Priti Patel); anyone is welcome here – but under 14s please note. Although every care has been taken in this text to remove traces of offensive combinations of short vowels and harsh consonants, some may still be found in older posts. Also beware that traces of less offensive things than words, such as war, violence, rape, mutation, blood, gore and slaughter may also be found.

Stay Alert – Control Words – Save Yourself

Back to the fun.

I chose a rather classic dwarf versus orc and goblin clash for the battle. I had just finished off a cavalry brigade for the orc and gobbo force containing a unit each of Boarboyz, Wolfboyz and Gobbo Chariots and I wanted to use these. In true Oldhammer style I had no interest in making the game balanced, and just threw out everything I had onto the table and made some house rules to distances and other things which I will detail later (probably in another post).

In true White Dwarf Style I will first introduce the armies to you.

Da Orcs and Gobbos

Da Commanderz

Gratnakkers – General: Command (8); Attack Bonus (+2) = 95 points

Boriz Da Yooslezz – Black Orc Hero: Command (8); Attack Bonus (+1) = 80 points

Graterak on War Wyvern “Brastrap” – Orc Shamanka: Command (7); Attack Bonus (+2) = 125 points (includes attack bonus and points of Wyvern)*

Grom Da Fatbastard – Goblin Hero – Command (7); Attack Bonus (+1) = 45 points

Skidmarkz – Goblin Shaman – Command (6); Attack Bonus (0) = 30 points

*Wyverns add a +2 attacks to a unit they have joined. A unit joined by a Wyvern causes terror. Wyverns can fly.

Total command structure = 375 points

Left to Right: Skidmarkz; Grom Da Fatbastard; Gratnakkers and retinue; Boriz Da Yooslezz

Graterak mounted on Brastrapp

Da Infantry Boyz

Note that for most units in Warmaster stats apply per stand and most units have three stands. All troops in the infantry section have a troop type of “infantry” except for the giant whose troop type is “monster”.

x3 Orc Warriors: Attacks (4); Ranged (N/A); Wounds (3); Save (6+) = 180 points

x1 Black Orcs: Attacks (4); Ranged (N/A); Wounds (4); Save (5+) = 110 points

x2 Goblins: Attacks (2); Ranged (1); Wounds (3); Save (0)* = 60 points

x1 Trolls: Attacks (5); Ranged (N/A); Wounds (3); Save (5+)** = 110 points

x1 Ogres: Attacks (4); Ranged (N/A); Wounds (4); Save (5+) = 105 points

x1 Giant: Attacks (8); Ranged (N/A); Wounds (8); Save (5+) = 150 points

*Goblins are assumed to be a rag-tag mix of combat infantry and shortbows and javelins. They have missile attacks but at half normal missile range to reflect this.

**Trolls are stupid and suffer a -1 command penalty when ordered. Trolls regenerate one wound in combat after full casualty stands have been removed.

Total Infantry = 715 points

x3 Units of Orc Warriors and x1 Unit of Black Orcs. The Black Orcs are front right with the read weapons.

Ogres, Trolls and x2 Units of Gobbo Infantry

"Wee Angry Jock Poo-Plopp McPlopp" the giant

Da Cavalry Boyz

All units are troop type “cavalry” except the Gobbo chariots which are troop type “chariots”. Er….Der.

X1 Boar Riders: Attacks (4); Ranged (N/A); Wounds (3); Save (5+) = 110 points

X1 Wolfboyz: Attacks (2); Ranged (N/A); Wounds (3); Save (6+) = 60 points

X1 Gobbo Chariots: Attacks (3); Ranged (N/A); Wounds (3); Save (6) = 80 points

Total Cavalry = 250 points

Left to Right: Gobbo Chariots; Wolfboyz; Boar Riderz

Gobbo Chariots

Da Artilllery

X1 Rock Lobba: Attacks (1); Ranged (3); Wounds (3); Save (0) = 75 points*

*A Rock Lobba consists of a single stand. A Rock Lobba can shoot at target that it cannot see on a -2 to hit penalty.

Total Artillery = 75 points

Da Rock Lobba

TOTAL ARMY VALUE = 1,415 POINTS

King Gorin Tallhelm the Grudgebearer’s Dwarf Expeditionary Force

Dwarf General and Commanders

King Gorin Tallhelm the Grudgebearer - General: Command (10); Attack Bonus (+2) = 155 points

Frode Gundersen the Aleswiller – Dwarf Hero: Command (8); Attack Bonus (+1) = 80 points

Ozrim Trommgibalchuf – Dwarf Runesmith/Wizard: Command (8); Attack Bonus (+1) = 90 points*

*Due to the times in which Warmaster was written (i.e. post 3^rd edition) GW revisionism had stripped magic from the dwarfs. I have written some spells to “Oldhammer up” my Warmaster dwarfs but as one of those is “Summon Earth Elemental” and I definitely haven’t made one yet, I decided to use Ozrim as a Runesmith for this battle simply so that I could play the game a day earlier. A Runesmith is simply a hero that can dispel any magic spells within 50cm on a roll of 4+.

Total Command Structure = 325 points

Runesmith Ozrim Trommgibalchuf; King Gorin with his Grudgebook and Retinue; Frode Aleswiller

Dwarf Infantry

x3 Dwarf Warriors: Attacks (3); Ranged (N/A); Wounds (4); Save (4+) = 330 points

x1 Dwarf Hammerers: Attacks (3); Ranged (N/A); Wounds (4); Save (3+) = 110 + 50 points*

x1 Dwarf Rangers: Attacks (3); Ranged (1); Wounds (4); Save (5+) = 110 points

x1 Dwarf Thunderers: Attacks (3); Ranged (1); Wounds (4); Save (6+) = 90 points**

x1 Slayers: Attacks (5); Ranged (N/A); Wounds (4); Save (0) = 80 points***

x1 Gorin’s Longbeard Huscarls: Attacks (4); Ranged (N/A); Wounds (4); Save (4+) = ???****

*In order to reflect the Elite status of the Hammerers they have been given a magical standard. The “Banner of Shielding” costs 50 points and gives the unit a 3+ save until the unit suffers the loss of a stand. After which the banner ceases to work and the unit refers to its usual dwarf warrior save of 4+

**Thunderers use of the arquebus means that enemy shot by the unit suffer a -1 save modifier.

***Slayers must use initiative to charge if possible. Slayers may not use initiative to evade. Only one Slayer unit can be included in a brigade. Slayers are never driven back by missile fire. Slayers are immune to terror. In addition to these rules, Slayer units’ entire purpose is to lose their lives in glorious combat. If any stands of slayer units survive a battle then their opponent receives victory points for them. If the slayers are wiped out the opponent scores no points for them.

****The Huscarls represent Gorin’s personal bodyguard made up from members of his extended family and his oldest and most loyal warriors. This unit is made up of just one stand and they always remain within 15cm of Gorin. They only accept orders from Gorin and cannot be ordered by other Dwarf commanders. While the Huscarls remain on the table they are the only unit Gorin can join.

Total Infantry = 770 points

Warriors and Hammerers. The Hammerers are Bottom Right

Slayers and Thunderers screened by Rangers

Gorin's Personal Bodyguard

Dwarf Artillery and Machines

The Gyrocopter squadron has a troop type of “Machine” while the other units obviously have a troop type of “Artillery”.

x1 Cannon Battery: Attacks (1); Ranged (2+bounce); Wounds (2); Save (6+) = 90 points*

x1 Flame Cannon: Attacks (1); Ranged (2D6); Wounds (2); Save (6+) = 50 points**

x1 Gyrocopter squadron: Attacks (1); Ranged (3); Wounds (3); Save (5+) = 75 points***

*Cannon battery consists of 2 stands. No armour can save against a cannon. The shot can potentially pass through a target unit and hit a unit behind the target.

**Flame cannons have a reduced range to normal artillery and have a random number of attacks. Rolling a double means you must roll on the “something has gone wrong” table.

***Gyrocopter squadrons can fly. Consists of a single stand and cannot be brigaded with other units or joined by a hero.